When I was freshman in high school, I took ancient world history. Its was required, but I still enjoyed it. I learned about Mesopotamia, Babylon, Egypt, Israel etc....
I learned about the bronze age, the iron age, the dark ages. All the way up to Native Americans in the Pilgrim era of New England. It was a lot of history to cover in one school year. Though now I wonder how I missed a few very obvious discrepancies between my scholastic studies an my religious ones.
In the Book of Mormon, there is a sub-book call Ether. In the book of Ether was a prophet, known only as the Brother of Jared, who journeyed from the middle east to America approximately1000 or more years before the Christian believed birth of Christ, around the time of the Biblical Tower of Babel. He did this by way of vessels crafted to be like watertight wooden submarines.
Of course, everything is possible with God in tow, so these watertight Iron Age submarines made it safely in one piece. Take away the fact that these things sound completely ridiculous, and go back to when the brother of Jared was making them. As he is in the midst of construction, a light bulb goes off and he says, wait a second, when the doors are shut, how are we going to have light in there? One of his ideas that god shoots down is to have windows. But god says no, the waves will dash them to pieces.
Hang on, windows? I mean, I bet they had windows on their houses in the iron age, but they were probably just holes covered with cloth or shutters. Flat glass used in windows was not introduced until the first century A.D. So the brother of Jared suggesting glass windows is completely out of historical context. But thats okay, because he comes up with the idea to have magical lit rocks instead. Which is much more feasible in god's mind, and he grants his wish.
Then there was the concept of technology and tools. In the Book of Mormon it is said there were swords, shields, chariots, even ships. Historically speaking, anytime a civilization has made technological advancements of this magnitude, they seem to only be expounded upon and further perfected. In the case of the America's, there is no anthropological evidence to suggest any of these devices existed at the time the Book of Mormon is said to have taken place. And there are no surviving swords, ships, or chariots in existing indigenous American cultures. There is also no evidence of things like wheat and horses, both of which were said to have been possessed by the people of the Book of Mormon.
While these things completely escaped my attention, or I just subconsciously ignored them, one thing did bother me. The Isaiah chapters in Second Nephi of the Book of Mormon were word for word out of the Book of Isaiah in the Bible. How was that possible? I was taught the Book of Mormon had only undergone on translation, while the Bible had gone through many translations by many peoples and in many different languages. Why would a first translation from "reformed Egyptian" match a translation from Hebrew, to Greek, to Latin, to Old English, to Modern English? And who knows how many times over? For them to match made no sense to me. I asked my seminary teacher thinking she'd have an answer for me.
"Isn't it wonderful?" she said. I was confused and asked what she meant. "Isn't it wonderful that the Lord had the passages translated to match the Bible so people who read would be able to see it was a second Witness of Christ?" That made absolutely no sense to me. But, per Elder Holland's advice, I put my questions on a shelf, confident God would reveal the answers upon my death. No need to understand religion in this lifetime, right?
I only wish I had critically evaluated my questions sooner, and perhaps I might have avoided all the pain, emotional exhaustion and frustration I had to endure afterward.
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
Friday, February 12, 2016
Is Religion Abusive?
Recently I read an article talking about abuse. But not the kind of abuse most people immediately think of: physical domestic violence.
No, this article spoke about something a little more sinister. Spiritual abuse.
I agree, physical violence is horrible. But often times, emotional, verbal, mental abuse is worse. Bruises on your body heal, but bruises in your mind never truly leave.
Spiritual abuse comes in several forms. From guilt to patriarchy, people of faith often find themselves the unknowing victims of abuse. Religion survives by showing people their unworthiness and offering them a solution. In western culture, this usually comes in the form of Christ, a redeeming figure who can remove *sins* and make his followers clean.
Religion defines what is considered a sin. And then lays out instructions on how to rid yourself of such sins. Religion also offers ways to maintain worthiness, including monetary donations.
My experience is in Mormonism, so that is what I will use as my basis for examples.
From an early age, children born into Mormonism are taught that they are imperfect beings. Their goal is to be as perfect in this life as possible. They are also told they will fail, because no one is perfect except Christ. But that if they cast their burdens on him, Christ will take away their imperfections and make them whole. In essence, they cannot survive eternally without Christ.
Christ has demands, made known by his prophets, or leaders, in the Mormon church. These demands, if met, ensure salvation. If not met, offer no salvation. Children are baptized members at the age of eight, typically before puberty, typically while still in elementary school, typically without any sort of advanced reasoning or understanding of what they are doing. They are just following what they have been taught to do, or indoctrinated into doing.
From there, they are taught that to remain *clean* as they were at baptism, t hey must follow Christ's teachings. And are brainwashed and abused into a never ending cycle of guild and repentance. Never measuring up to the standard of perfection laid out before them. Always feeling inadequate, always feeling like they need Christ's atonement. Never feeling they are good enough just as they are.
Women bear a lot of the spiritual burden in the Mormon church. They are taught that leadership and presiding authority is for the men. They are taught that their bodies are inherently seductive and should be covered. They are taught that their greatest achievement will be reproducing and raising children. They are forced to detail their spiritual shortfalls to men. They are forced to defer to their husbands, starting day one in the temple. They are taught to be ashamed of their feminine figures, and to subsequently shame other women who have the audacity to expose their knees and shoulders.
This is abusive. I do not have statistics on hand, but I understand Utah has one of the highest rates of suicide in the nation. It has some of the highest rates of prescription narcotic abuse, along with staggering numbers of obese and morbidly obese individuals. These members are self medicating with food, miss-using prescriptions, coping with the guilt and unworthiness through suicide.
Another factor in maintaining worthiness in the Mormon church is temple attendance. In order to go to the temple, you have to pay tithing, which is 10% of your income. So you not only have to beat yourself up with guilt, but you have to pay money as well. And thus the Mormon church has successfully trapped its members into a cycle of guilt, repentance and payments, which can now be conveniently paid online.
Be wary of anyone who tells you that you have a problem and then offers you the solution. Its how door to door security system salesmen make the bulk of their money. And it's how the Mormon church is so sickeningly wealthy. They have absolutely no conscience, for they demand money from those who are on welfare. They demand money from those who struggle to make it each month. They say god will bless them. And then take their money. They tell them they are not worthy, and never will be, so they need Christ, they need their prophetic words saying no tattoos, no coffee, and pay 10% of your meager incomes.
It's abusive. It's taking advantage of people. It's wrong
No, this article spoke about something a little more sinister. Spiritual abuse.
I agree, physical violence is horrible. But often times, emotional, verbal, mental abuse is worse. Bruises on your body heal, but bruises in your mind never truly leave.
Spiritual abuse comes in several forms. From guilt to patriarchy, people of faith often find themselves the unknowing victims of abuse. Religion survives by showing people their unworthiness and offering them a solution. In western culture, this usually comes in the form of Christ, a redeeming figure who can remove *sins* and make his followers clean.
Religion defines what is considered a sin. And then lays out instructions on how to rid yourself of such sins. Religion also offers ways to maintain worthiness, including monetary donations.
My experience is in Mormonism, so that is what I will use as my basis for examples.
From an early age, children born into Mormonism are taught that they are imperfect beings. Their goal is to be as perfect in this life as possible. They are also told they will fail, because no one is perfect except Christ. But that if they cast their burdens on him, Christ will take away their imperfections and make them whole. In essence, they cannot survive eternally without Christ.
Christ has demands, made known by his prophets, or leaders, in the Mormon church. These demands, if met, ensure salvation. If not met, offer no salvation. Children are baptized members at the age of eight, typically before puberty, typically while still in elementary school, typically without any sort of advanced reasoning or understanding of what they are doing. They are just following what they have been taught to do, or indoctrinated into doing.
From there, they are taught that to remain *clean* as they were at baptism, t hey must follow Christ's teachings. And are brainwashed and abused into a never ending cycle of guild and repentance. Never measuring up to the standard of perfection laid out before them. Always feeling inadequate, always feeling like they need Christ's atonement. Never feeling they are good enough just as they are.
Women bear a lot of the spiritual burden in the Mormon church. They are taught that leadership and presiding authority is for the men. They are taught that their bodies are inherently seductive and should be covered. They are taught that their greatest achievement will be reproducing and raising children. They are forced to detail their spiritual shortfalls to men. They are forced to defer to their husbands, starting day one in the temple. They are taught to be ashamed of their feminine figures, and to subsequently shame other women who have the audacity to expose their knees and shoulders.
This is abusive. I do not have statistics on hand, but I understand Utah has one of the highest rates of suicide in the nation. It has some of the highest rates of prescription narcotic abuse, along with staggering numbers of obese and morbidly obese individuals. These members are self medicating with food, miss-using prescriptions, coping with the guilt and unworthiness through suicide.
Another factor in maintaining worthiness in the Mormon church is temple attendance. In order to go to the temple, you have to pay tithing, which is 10% of your income. So you not only have to beat yourself up with guilt, but you have to pay money as well. And thus the Mormon church has successfully trapped its members into a cycle of guilt, repentance and payments, which can now be conveniently paid online.
Be wary of anyone who tells you that you have a problem and then offers you the solution. Its how door to door security system salesmen make the bulk of their money. And it's how the Mormon church is so sickeningly wealthy. They have absolutely no conscience, for they demand money from those who are on welfare. They demand money from those who struggle to make it each month. They say god will bless them. And then take their money. They tell them they are not worthy, and never will be, so they need Christ, they need their prophetic words saying no tattoos, no coffee, and pay 10% of your meager incomes.
It's abusive. It's taking advantage of people. It's wrong
Lost Conscious
Dark night mistakes the distant death
E're waiting still it comes
For money's worth and pennies spent
Yet ne're subtracts the sum
A shallow peeling bell may sound
Some lonesome ghostly ring
While sonnets rise and beauty fades
In long forgotten spring
Dim failing intellectual bliss
The thought begets the daze
And searching ends at sunset's reign
Lost in a sentient maze
Monday, February 8, 2016
What Leaving Taught Me About People
When I first started voicing my opinions after my "crisis of faith", it seemed that things changed very quickly. I understand social media may not be the ideal place to share thoughts, but it is the most convenient when you aren't close to the people you want to reach. You can't always hop on a plane or in your car to share what you are thinking in person, so again, I understand it isn't ideal, but it is what is available.
But when I became more confident in what I felt, and less scared about what people would think, I began voicing my thoughts.
It was amazing just how many people suddenly became concerned for my eternal soul, and grammatical health (in the case of one bitter past teacher, who decided to derail one of my posts with an english lesson while simultaneously and repeatedly misspelling my name). I received private messages expressing concern for my wellbeing from people I had not spoken to in years. Who had never bothered to contact me for any other reason. I had friends and friends of friends come together and dominate my posts with religious rhetoric, condescending judgement, and sorrow for my failed faith. I feel sorry for you they would say. I'm sad because you have lost your testimony they told me. I know you are wrong, they asserted.
It all started with something like, I love your pictures! Or, your boys are so cute! And then got ugly real quick. It was as though they felt they had to say something sweet before damning me. Which made it even worse, considering they never would have complimented my pictures unless I had offended their faith.
"I would urge you to not post anything else"
"Here is a video that might help you understand"
"What you fail to recognize is"
"Why are you trying to hurt me"
"Read the Bible"
"This Paradox has just made me realize that you have just been #Unfriended due to #Unfriendlyness"
That last one was a random comment after I was arguing with someone else about the new policy on gays and their children. She decided to take it all the way to masturbation and abortion. And I ended up being the bad person for disagreeing with the Mormon Leaders for excluding gays and their children from God's *one true church*. Go figure.
But when I became more confident in what I felt, and less scared about what people would think, I began voicing my thoughts.
It was amazing just how many people suddenly became concerned for my eternal soul, and grammatical health (in the case of one bitter past teacher, who decided to derail one of my posts with an english lesson while simultaneously and repeatedly misspelling my name). I received private messages expressing concern for my wellbeing from people I had not spoken to in years. Who had never bothered to contact me for any other reason. I had friends and friends of friends come together and dominate my posts with religious rhetoric, condescending judgement, and sorrow for my failed faith. I feel sorry for you they would say. I'm sad because you have lost your testimony they told me. I know you are wrong, they asserted.
It all started with something like, I love your pictures! Or, your boys are so cute! And then got ugly real quick. It was as though they felt they had to say something sweet before damning me. Which made it even worse, considering they never would have complimented my pictures unless I had offended their faith.
"I would urge you to not post anything else"
"Here is a video that might help you understand"
"What you fail to recognize is"
"Why are you trying to hurt me"
"Read the Bible"
"This Paradox has just made me realize that you have just been #Unfriended due to #Unfriendlyness"
That last one was a random comment after I was arguing with someone else about the new policy on gays and their children. She decided to take it all the way to masturbation and abortion. And I ended up being the bad person for disagreeing with the Mormon Leaders for excluding gays and their children from God's *one true church*. Go figure.
In each case, every single one of these people had not communicated with me since at least 2005 or before. Ten years. Ten whole years of opportunities to contact me, compliment my pictures, express concern for my dark path. So forgive me if their sentiment seems less than genuine. Its not concern for me. Its concern for themselves.
Mormons seem to have an inherent intolerance to anyone who thinks differently. And a morbid fear of anyone who had previously been Mormon. As though their very existence is a threat to their faith. Even though I do not direct my comments at anyone in particular, someone always crawls out of their LDS cave to express personal offense at something I have said.
The nature of Mormon doctrine often leads its members to self identify as their religion. Not as something without themselves, but something that IS themselves. Anything said against the doctrine becomes a personal attack, and they react with fear and anger. They must defend their faith (their identity) even if it means laying down their lives. Doesn't that sound a little insane?
I used to feel that way. I'm no stranger to taking personal offense to random so called *anti-Mormon* Facebook posts and articles. In fact, I did the same thing to someone else. She posted on her wall about being disappointed in a talk about homosexuals in conference. I hadn't spoken to her in years, but I immediately felt the *spirit* tell me to show her the error of her ways. When it was my own insecurity, intolerance, and superiority complex that led to my hateful dialog.
What any Mormon who engages with me fails to realize is that I have been in their shoes. They cannot fathom anyone who leaves ever actually believing. Thereby placing blame on the person who has left, degrading their spiritual experience, and casting aside their knowledge. It hurts me to think I was ever a believer, but it also hurts when people tell me I never actually believed. I may not have gotten up willingly to bear my testimony, but I believed. And I lived the Mormon life. I read my scriptures, I prayed. I was sealed in the temple. I fasted for strength during my crisis of faith. I pleaded with god to reveal to me the truth. But the more I searched, the more I tried to educate myself about the questions I had, the more I learned about the church's true nature.
It was a heart wrenching time. It was hard. I felt my foundation completely yanked out from beneath me and what made it even better was the judgement I received from active members. As I expressed m y thoughts, I received nothing but condescension and anger. I couldn't say anything without offense being taken and hostility ensuing, and because what I think is so against what Mormons think, each conversation ended with me being an arrogant know-it-all not letting religious people believe in their god. It was exhausting. It was depressing.
It was even more depressing when I discovered my sister had blocked me. That some of my nieces and nephews had unfriended me. That some of my friends had very vocally announced they were blocking me. I guess I shouldn't be so upset, I felt the need to unfriend some family members too. But it was due to them engaging me in nearly everything I said in a very confrontational manner. But in the case of being unfriended, I know it's because I've fallen away and am now a bad influence and they must surround themselves with the virtuous and praiseworthy. Stand in holy places, I did the same thing. And alienated people who cared about me too.
In my transition out of mormonism, I have discovered who my true friends are. What my family actually thinks about me. And just how cruel religious people can actually be.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)